Don't waste your time on me

Moving

2007-04-01T13:25:17Z

Add me again at ninjaaa_waffles, if you want.

Life is annoying.

2007-03-13T22:36:00Z

Recent realization: I wake up normal everyday, and then feel horrible as it goes on. Every day, I go to bed simply because I'm tired of staying awake and feeling like shit.

I have no reason to feel this way. I don't know why do. it's been this way for a long time, but it's gotten worse with time.
I can't really talk to anyone about it, because, well, I don't want to. I know people don't take me seriously, am fine with that, however, I don't want to make it worse.

I just don't know what to do.
I dunno.
What's the point in life if you're not living, to be oh so eloquent?

Why can't I do anything right?

2007-03-08T03:01:08Z

Emo sigh here.

I am such a Miku fangirl.

2007-02-07T13:34:16Z

Isn't the new layout PRETTIER?!

Color Coding Eros: Bright pink - Angela Light pink - Naoko Purple - Yukari Red - Ayami Blue - Pixie

2006-12-29T00:32:36Z

Colors listed in title because I am lazy. For reference, MY part starts AFTER the ero's echo ends. The person who romanized these lyrics was lazy and shortened the amount of yeahs and such contained and I am sick and just as lazy and refuse to fix it myself, capiche?

Fu Yeah
Fu Wow Wow Wow Yeah
Fu Wow Wow
Yeah Yeah Fu Wow Wow Yeah

kore ijou motto
suki ni nattara kitto
moto ni modorenaku naru
sore de anata wa [Aya/Ang] ii no ne

doushite sonna ni
yasashiku dekiru no yo
subete miseta ato ga fuan

[Yu/Pix] AH onai doshi na no ni
[Ang/Aya] otona na hito ne
[Ang/Aya] Fu~ ubawareru

nan mo iwanaide sotto gyutto suru kara
GUSHA GUSHA no hodo ni afuredasu namida
nan mo sawannaide chotto KISS wo suru hito
ai ni shoujiki na [Ang/Nao] BODY Yeah

Fu nonono, wow wow Yeah Yeah Fu

are ijou motto
kuchizuketetara kitto
hanarerarenaku naru wa
USO nara [Pix/Yu] hayaku oshiete

doushite sonna ni
ii kireru hito na no?
mirai nante wakannai no ni Wow

[Ang/Aya] AH hosoku mieru kedo
[Nao/Yu] yaseiteki da wa
[Pix/Yu] Fu~ yumegokochi

nan mo iwanaide zutto gyutto shite ite
MECHA KUCHA na hodo ni furuedasu karada
nan mo sawannaide sotto mune de nemuru wa
sore wa kyuukyoku no EROS Yeah

Yeah Wow Wow...

nan mo iwanaide sotto gyutto suru kara
GUSHA GUSHA no hodo ni [Pix/Yu]afuredasu namida
nan mo sawannaide chotto KISS wo suru hito
ai ni shoujiki na [Aya/Ang] BODY Yeah

nan mo iwanaide zutto gyutto shite ite
< font color="red">MECHA KUCHA na hodo ni furuedasu karada
[Nao/Pix]nan mo sawannaide sotto [Ang/Yu/Aya]mune de nemuru wa
sore wa kyuukyoku no EROS Yeah

Yeah
Yeah Wow Wow

Color Coding: Love Machine

2006-12-29T00:10:07Z

Angela Naoko Yukari Ayami Pixie

[Ang/Aya]Anta nya mottai nai [Nao/Pix](fu fu)
[Ang/Aya/Nao]Atasha hontou nice body, body, body
[Yu/Pix]Jibun de iu kurai
[Yu/Pix]Tada ja nai! ja nai?
[Ang/Nao]Atsukerya samaseba ii [Aya/Yu](fu fu)
[Ang/Nao]Samishikerya everybody, body, body
Dare ni mo wakaranai [Pix/Ang](fu fu)
Renai tte itsu hi ga tsuku no ka
Dynamite koi wa dynamite

Donna ni fukeiki datte koi wa infureeshon
Konna ni yasashiku sarecha midara
Akarui mirai ni shuushoku kibou da wa

Nippon no mirai wa [Yu/Pix](wow wow wow wow)
Sekai ga urayamu [Ang/Nao/Aya](yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Koi wo shiyou ja nai ka [Yu/Pix](wow wow wow wow)
Dance! Dancin' all of the night

Nan da ka monotarinai [Aya/Pix](fu fu)
Doko ni itatte ai shitete hoshii wa
Jibun de tsutaeru no
Hazukashii ja nai!
[Aya/Pix]Risou no futari da wa [Ang/Yu](fuufu)
[Aya/Pix]Akogare yo everybody, body, body
Dareshi mo ki zuite nai (fu fu)
Renai tte yume no otoshiana
Mystery koi wa mystery

Sonna no fushizen datte koi no insaidaa
Sore demo jouzu ni sarecha arawa
Shiawase kuru hi mo kyanseru machi na no?

Anata no egao wa [Ang/Yu/Naoko](wow wow wow wow)
Sekai ga urayamu [Pix/Aya](yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yume ga arun ja nai ka? [Ang/Yu/Naoko](wow wow wow wow)
Dance! Dancin' all of the night

Love love love mashiin (wow wow wow wow)
Love love love suteeshon (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Love love love fakutorii (wow wow wow wow)
Love! Love is so wonderful

Nippon no mirai wa (wow wow wow wow)
Sekai ga urayamu (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Koi wo shiyou ja nai ka (wow wow wow wow)
Dance! Dancin' all of the night

Hello Again mo (wow wow wow wow)
Anta mo atashi mo (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Minna mo shachou san mo (wow wow wow wow)
Dance! Dancin' all of the night

Love Machine

blahblahblah18 @ 2006-12-28T18:35:00

2006-12-28T23:35:39Z

Angela Pixie Ayami Angel Yukari Naoko

Starting a series of one shots, loosely connected

2006-12-23T11:28:53Z

What might these be called? Aishiteru. Just...Aishiteru. I would LOVE some feedback, I work REALLY hard on these. >.< There will be five parts.

Title: Aishiteru, Toshiya/Motto
Pairing: Kyo/Toshiya, Die/Kaoru (?), Kyo/Kaoru
Rating: R (Smut, but not overly detailed.)
(Follow the fake cut)

Title: Aishiteru, Kaoru/Gag Me
Pairing: Shinya/Kaoru
Rating: NC-17

I thrust, lustily, into the smaller hand. I needed the release so badly. I thrust harder and higher this time, stretching myself as far as I could and groaning a bit. My ribs only slightly protruded out from under skin that had paled over the past few months, and grown slightly rougher from lack of care.
That hand was my center of all pleasure. My thrusting became erratic, and almost unwilled; not caused by signals from my brain, but instead out of habit.
And then I came, the white substance spilling over my hand and dripping slightly onto my, also protruding, hipbones.
I looked down...oh, it's not you.
It's just me, once again, as usual. Pleasuring myself. I really need to keep that pact with myself, you know. The one where I won't do anything sexual unless it's with you, and only you. It's not as if I'd go with someone else, but for some reason it seems to much easier to simply imagine my long, thin, manicured fingers are your shorter, calloused fingers. All I have to do is tilt my head back and close my eyes, and it can be anyone, anyone's hand. But it's always your hand.
Pushing me to the edge in such a knowing way, that it could only really be from me. But such details are easy to forget or ignore when in pleasure, right?
I wonder which pillow I will use tonight as a substitute for you...I think that nice, big soft one there. I can hold it as I fall asleep and wonder how it feels to hold you instead, and maybe even think it's you for a few moments right as I wake up.
It seems the sadness always comes when I realize, once again, it is only me tugging at my length, or the pillow in my arms, or the voice in my head sounding oddly like you.
I am not a stalker, I am not crazy. I am simply stupid and a coward.
Would I rather cry myself to sleep as I am doing right now, while curling into the fetal position under my blankets, thinking maybe someday you'll break it to me that you love me, adore me, and think about me all night, too? Or would I rather hold myself, in the middle of the floor, my body wracking with sobs, because once again, I have been turned down? That it is a sure thing it will never happen, that the pillow serves only to be ripped up and thrown to the floor, and my hand only to be bitten into to quiet myself like an imaginary gag to keep me from screeching until the neighbors come to find me, nearly passed out from having some sort of attack?
That happened last week. There are three scars on my hand: One from that time, shortly before those same neighbors moved out.
One from one night where I got a bit too fiesty during my masturbation and had to bite my other hand to keep quiet.
And one that is just forming right now, as I shove my head into the pillow.
If you were to ever allow me one night with you; I don't want you to have sex with me, or to make love to me. I want you to fuck me. Hard and long, and until I bleed, and I can feel it for weeks. I want to be punished for being so obsessive, and still have memories days after from the pain. I want you to leave bites all down my chest and my throat that will turn into bruises that will stay for a week or more.
Just the thought of this gives me an erection and I wistfully hit it down. It hurts so bad, but I don't want to touch myself. I don't want to be touched by anyone else. I only want to be touched by you. And if you come to me, do as you wish. And if you take pity on me, fuck me and punish me. Scar me, scratch me, and make me bleed.
As my need aches in more than one way, I go to sleep knowing I will dream of you all night.
Aishiteru, Kaoru.

Part...something of Halloween

2006-12-20T08:51:41Z

IT IS REVIVED.

YOU CAN MOTHERFUCKING DO IT.

2006-12-08T11:08:46Z

YOU ARE A TALENTED SOMEWHAT SENSIBLE HUMAN BEING.
DO SOMETHING WITH IT.
YES.
I CAN. AND...I WILL.

Ignore myself cheerleading myself as for the cause...I want to be like......

Gackt-desu. : | -dramatic pause, cricket cricket-
Yeah, it sounds fucking pathetic but I'm SO unsure in my singing, and quite honestly, BAD. I want to be able to go an entire perf without hitting a single bad note, or sounding out of breath. I want to be able to be good at it, but I've got my mother assuring me I CAN'T. But I want to, badly. I'll find a way, I just don't know what. Lessons are pointless; Screw 'em. I'm passed what a teacher can teach me., There is no technique to singing, and I've learned that. It's just learning what does what, and how to make it do that. You can't learn to sing, because someone can not physically tell your throat and chest what to do, only you can.
I know I won't get a career from it, but I want the satisfaction of having a talent. I don't have any yet, but I want one, and I know I can work up to it. I think. I hope.
Because I just spent 5 hours singing the same song trying to ge tit perfect, and failed.

blahblahblah18 @ 2006-12-01T04:41:00

2006-12-01T09:41:34Z

You know what really gives away harisu used to be a guy? SHE'S TALLER THAN ALL THE GUYS IN THE PICTURE!

Subject: harisu
Catergory: Music
Theme(s): Beginnings, hope, rhythm, melancholy, and pissed off
# icons in post:5
Completed out of 100:5


1. Beginnings	2	3. Hope	4	5

6	7	8.Rhythm	9	10

11	12	13	14	15

16	17	18	19	20

21	22. Melancholy	23	24	25

26	27	28	29	30

31	32	33	34	35

36	37	38.Pissed off	39	40

41	42	43	44	45

46	47	48	49	50

Sorry for the lack of updates

2006-11-28T05:21:06Z

I've been busy putting my group together. It'll be a few weeks before I'm active again, I apologize.

Haha.

2006-11-21T13:42:29Z

By the time he was finished, Yoshiki had cleaned out all of his take-out boxes, and was opening a fortune cookie. "You know," he said thoughtfully as the cookie broke, "they can smash your cookie, but you'll always have your fortune."

Shinya blinked curiously. "But...what does that mean?"

Yoshiki shook his head. "I have no idea, but since I'm opening a cookie right now, I thought maybe it was relevant."

HAHAHAHA.
Haha.
I don't know why but that amused me far more than it should have.
You know, I'm going to use that on Michelle next time she comes to me to whine about Kayla.

That's right, folks

2006-10-19T01:53:42Z

I finally put this together. Just comment to requets something. =)
Note, this is only my Hello Project list!

AUDIO

(If only the title is listed, I only have the A-side. If it says Full single next to it, I have the song, the B-side, and possibly the intrumental (in some cases I only have the A and B side or the A side and instrumentals.)

MOMUSU

Morning Musume (Singles)

Morning Coffee
Summer Night Town
Daite! Hold on Me
Memory Seishun no Hikari
Furusato
LOVE Machine
Koi no Dance Site
Happy Summer Wedding
I WISH
Renai Revolution 21
The Peace!
Mr. Moonlight ~Ai no Big Band~
Souda! We're ALIVE
Do it! Now
Koko ni Iruzee!
Morning Musume no Hyokkori Hyoutan-jima
AS FOR ONE DAY
Shabondama (Full single)
Go Girl ~Koi no Victory~ (Full single)
Ai Araba IT'S ALL RIGHT (Full single)
Roman ~MY DEAR BOY~ (Full single)
Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Full single)
Namida ga Tomaranai Houkago (Full single)
THE Manpower!!! (Full single)
Osaka Koi no Uta (Full single)
Iroppoi Jirettai (Full single)
Chokkan 2 ~Nogashita Sakana wa Ookiizo!~ (Full single)
SEXY BOY ~Soyokaze ni Yorisotte~ (Full single)
Ambitious! Yashinteki de Ii jan (Full single)

Morning Musume ~Otome Gumi~ (Singles)

Yuujou ~Kokoro no Busu ni wa Naranee!~ (Full single)
Ai no Sono ~Touch My Heart!~
Ai no Sono ~Touch My Heart!~ Karaoke ver.

Morning Musume ~Sakura Gumi~ (Singles)
Hare Ame Nochi Suki

Morning Musume (Albums)
Second Morning
Rainbow 7
Morning Musume ~Best vol.1~
Morning Musume ~Best vol. 2~

Subgroups

Tanpopo (Singles)
Last Kiss
Last Kiss - instrumental
Motto
Motto - instrumental

Pucchi Moni (Singles)
Chokotto Love (Full single, sans karaoke)
Seishun Jidai 1.2.3! - instrumental

MiniMoni (Singles)
Minimoni. Jankenpyon!
Minimoni Telephone Rin Rin Rin
Minimoni. Kazoe Uta (Date ver.)
CRAZY ABOUT YOU

Soloists

Aya Matsuura (Singles)
Dokkidoki! LOVE Mail acappela live with Melon Kinenbi
100kai no Kiss - instrumental

Abe Natsumi (Singles)
The Stress
The Stress - instrumental
Amasugita Kajitsu

Miki Fujimoto (Singles)
Aenai Nagai Nichiyoubi (Full single)
Sotto Kuchizukete Gyutto Dakishimete (Full single)
Romantic Ukare Mode (Full single)
Boyfriend (Full single)
Boogie Train '03 (Full single)

Miki Fujimoto (Albums)
Miki 1

Maki Goto (Singles)
Te wo Nigitte
LIKE A GAME
Akai Nikkichou (Goto ver.)
Glass No Pumps
Some Boys! Touch (Radio quality)

Groups

Melon Kinenbi (Singles)
This is Unmei (Full single)

W (singles)
Koi no Vacance
Koi no Vacance - Karaoke ver.
Robokiss (Full single)
Koi no Fuga
Koi no Fuga - Karaoke ver.
Ai no Imi wo Oshiete!
Miss Love Tantei
Dekoboko Seventeen
Dekoboko Seventeen Wonderful Hearts live
Matsu wa
Shiroi Iro wa Koibito no Iro

Biyuuden/Viyuuden/V-u-den (Singles)
Ajisai Ai Ai Monogatari

Shuffle Groups

Akagumi 4 - Akai Nikkichou (Full single)
Kiiro 5 - Kiiroi Sora De Boom Boom Boom (Full single)
Aoiro 7 - Aoi Sports Car no Otoko (Full single)
3nin Matsuri - Chu! Natsu Party
Sexy 8 - Shiawase Desu Ka?
Salt 5 - Get Up Rapper
11 Water - Be All Right (Full Single)
Sexy Otona Jan - Onna, Kanashii, Otona (Full single)

Misc Groups

Aa! - First Kiss
Aa! - First Kiss - Instrumental
Gomattou - Shall We Love (Full single)

GAM (Singles)
Thanks (Full single)
Melodies (Full Single)

VIDEO
These will be listed randomly, but the list won't be -too- terribly long, so just scroll through it a few times and request what catches your eye.

Movies

Koinu Dan No Monogatari
Pinch Runner (subtitled)

W

Koi no Vacance
Koi no Vacance (Subbed)
Robokiss

Shuffles

BE ALL RIGHT!

Minimoni

Crazy About You Dance Shot
Strawberry Pie
minimoni - minimoni.kazoeuta ~ofuro version~ (2003-05-09 Music FIghter)
minimoni - minimoni.kazoeuta ~ofuro version~ (2003-05-09 Music FIghter) (SUBBED)
Minimoni Busu Guido

Morning Musume

Irropoi Jirettai (Subbed)
Ambitious! Yashenteki de Ii jan
As For One Day
Shabondama
Happy Summer Wedding
Go Girl ~Koi no Victory~
Koi no Dance Site
Say Yeah! Motto Miracle Night live Love Revolution 21 tour
Dokyu ep 268 with Ogawa Makoto
Love Machine (Long version.)
The Peace
SEXY BOY ~Soyo Kaze ni Yorisoutte~ Dance ver.
Jashi Kashmashi Monogatari (Subbed)
Renai Revolution

Miki Fujimoto
Aenai Nagai Nichiyoubi
Sotto Kuchizukete Gyutto Dakishimete
ROMANTIC Ukare MODE
BOYFRIEND
Boogie Train '03

Utaban/Music Fighter, etc
ROMANS Utaban 2003.08.28 subtitled
Rika Ishikawa Graduation SP english subs
Hello Morning Miki Fujimoto Special 2003 - 05 - 18 (subbed)
Ai Kago audition
Mari Imitates Ayu
Ai attacks Mari
Mari Pronouncing "Busy"
Ai Kago & Nozomi Tsuji As Lift Attendents
Ai "dating" Gackt
Morning Musume VS Speed - DDR Competition Part 2 (1)
Morning Musume vs Smap - Ping Pong Game

Ayaka's Surprise English Lessons
09-05 - Ogawa Makoto - I m in trouble
Ayaka's Surprise English Lesson - 01-05-14 - Kago Ai - Which direction is north
Ayaka'S Surprise English Lesson - Mari Yaguchi - Kimatsu Testo - Part 1
Ayaka English w Tsuji - How many members are in Morning Musume

PHOTOBOOKS
Tsuji Nozomi x Ai Kago photobook
Mari.Yaguchi.-.Photobook.-.Love-Hello!.(2003.06.xx)
MorningMusume-5-Makoto Ogawa-2005.02.21_1st Makoto Ogawa
Hitomi Yoshizawa First Photobook
Reina Tanaka - Shoujo photobook

The sun washed over the stark white sheets...

2006-10-10T11:19:07Z

Those sheets had seen much in their time, with their wrips and stains and yet there they were now, every stain washed out and every rip sewn back together by hand and during silence.
The acts these sheets had seen would have gotten anyone thrown out of the church, anyone sent to hell to burn in eternal fire for their sins.
And yet no one had to know; or atleast, no one had to say they knew.
Because of human decency and standards, so many words are left in the air, hanging and waiting for someone to pick them up and tell the truth without condemning, and throwing the first stone. But the wait never ends until the straw breaks the camels back, and the stone is thrown, followed by many others.
If the acts the sheets see, the acts the sheets are there for, and the reasons for the rips and stains are impure, are the sheets also?
How many times will we have to repair the sheets before we purchase new ones?

Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing - peace is the measure.
George Melton